Available at Personal Appearances
HANGING CHADS
Book Description:
Physically and mentally abusive parents raise Maddy Sommers. Luckily, she has her beloved aunts and uncle to lean on, and their support builds her spirit and formulates her outlook on the world. Their love is not enough, however, to erase the torturous scars of her past.
Maddy grows up to loathe those that she considers bullies and takes it upon herself to right perceived wrongs. She exacts her brand of violent justice upon abusive mates who cross her path. Maddy manages to do so using both creative and messy methods while simultaneously seeking true love in her own awkward way.
Amidst vengeful bloodshed, Maddy's search for her personal prince is humorous and, at times, tragic. She is a romantically hopeful young woman who hides a deep, dark secret. Maddy is not to be crossed, but will her rage blind her when the right man comes along?
LINEAGE: HANGING CHADS BOOK II
Book Description:
Following a tumultuous lifetime of abuse, heartache, and violent bloodshed, 2023 was going to be Maddy Sommerses’ year. She was determined to leave behind her days of being a vigilante serial killer, for she had finally met her true love. Her soulmate. Her prince. She was literally and figuratively washing the vicious bullies’ blood from her hands and trading it in for a wedding ring and a lifetime of laughter and cuddling.
But she is forced to discard her plans for simple matrimonial bliss and return to her bloody and vengeful ways as family secrets reveal an all-too-real and maniacal threat. A threat to herself, to her family, to her country, and to the world.
As questions are answered, new questions are presented. What have her beloved Uncle Joe and Aunt Blair been up to for all these years? Who is this blonde nun who keeps following them around? Do hot dogs taste better being cooked over a burning corpse? What exactly is being served at the Halloween party? And, most mysteriously, what has her adoring husband been doing in the basement?
Available at Personal Appearances
Available at Personal Appearances
ASCENSION: HANGING CHADS BOOK III
Book Description:
THIS IS AN URGENT MESSAGE FROM JOSIE PARKER!
Can you readers out there please help me? I am the daughter of Maddy Sommers and Erick Parker, and I have found out that my loving parents have some…um…idiosyncrasies. I mean, like, they're vigilante serial killers, and I just don't know what to think about that.
Sure, a lot of the people they are taking out are involved in an international autocratic movement that is trying to overthrow the world's great democracies, but isn't there a better way? A more peaceful way? And do they have to get my childhood friends involved in their maniacal carnage?
All I want to do is live a happy, peaceful life with my loving family and take care of the stray cats and dogs in my neighborhood without having to look over my shoulder. But I fear that destiny may be calling me to ascend to another, more violent purpose. I'm so conflicted. Can anybody out there help me figure this out?
REVENGE OF THE DOWNTRODDEN: THE HANGING CHADS OMNIBUS VOL. 1 Contains: Hanging Chads, Lineage: Hanging Chads Book II, Ascension: Hanging Chads Book III
Book Description:
SEE! An empowered female serial killer hack, slice, blow up, and hang abusive men and wanna-be fascists!
HEAR! The anguished pleas from her victims as they meet their grisly demise!
FEEL! The throbbing in your heart as she experiences her first true love!
TASTE! Hot dogs that are cooked over a burning corpse!
SMELL! Entrails as they ooze out of their victims!
Revenge of the Downtrodden:
The Hanging Chads Omnibus Vol. 1 is a horrific feast for the senses! You will cry! You will laugh! You will swoon! You will cringe! You will laugh again, followed immediately by another bout of crying, and then be disgusted! So please join me as I take you on the journey of Maddy Sommers. Devoted niece and friend. Hard-working bookstore manager. Loving wife and mother. And…vicious serial killer of those that seek to oppress us all. This is the tale of Maddy Sommers's Revenge of the Downtrodden. And it is not for the weak of heart.
SOUL TWO SOUL
Book Description:
Arima Azar loves going on trips...trips in her mind, that is. Her perfect day is spent taking a hit off of a joint, gorging on junk food, and watching horror movies. But when she is suddenly awoken on her twenty-third birthday by a demonic force, she realizes that she has just been recruited to go on an entirely different trip. A trip that will force her to engage in a battle between good and evil. A battle between dark souls and good souls. A battle for the very existence of humanity. It will be a battle that she must wage alongside her loved ones and newfound friends…both living and deceased. Soul Two Soul is tragedy, suspense, romance, thrills, chills, and humor all wrapped up in an untidy little package. It is Scooby Doo meets Paranormal Activity meets Cheech & Chong. It is Soul Two Soul. And man, is it a trip.
PURPLE REIGN: HANGING
CHADS BOOK IV
Book Description:
Josie Parker has lost everything. She has lost her father. She has lost her mother. She has lost everything but her will to fight. To fight not only for her own survival and the survival of her remaining loved ones but to fight against a demonic existential threat against humanity. New patriots-in-arms will enter her life to be led in this cosmic war alongside her. But when the time comes for the final epic and bloody battle between good and evil, will this seventeen-year-old woman have the strength, fortitude, and maturity to overcome all that she has already lost? Or will she wilt under the pressure, leaving us all to die with her?
TWINFINTY: HANGING CHADS BOOK V
Book Description:
BABYSITTER URGENTLY NEEDED!!!
For four adorable perpetual ten-year-old children. Sigourney and her twin sister Euna and their twin cousins Kane and Thanatos are well behaved, polite, and very... um... energetic. They very much enjoy playing games, especially hide and seek. But you won't find them in or around their home. You will need to look for them in the past.
The ability to connect with spirits in Enlightenment to locate them and bring them home is essential. Other duties include keeping Thanatos from putting things in his mouth, caring for their Shetland ponies, light housekeeping, cooking, and laundry. Proficiency in the removal of blood and ice cream stains is a plus.
Traitorous servants of the demon Vetis need not apply. Trust me. You will not enjoy the games that the children will play with you.
IF YOU WANT BLOOD…YOU’VE GOT IT! THE HANGING CHADS OMNIBUS VOL. 2 CONTAINS: SOUL TWO SOUL, PURPLE REIGN: HANGING CHADS BOOK IV, TWINFINITY: HANGING CHADS BOOK V
Book Description:
SEE! The traitorous forces against humanity getting sliced, diced, skewered, blown up and…well…you get the point!
HEAR! Blood droplets raining into pools of unholy gore!
FEEL! The euphoria and heartbreak of teenage romance!
TASTE! Hors d’oeuvres that are made out of bacon! Or are they?
SMELL! Slimy intestines as they are used to hogtie their deplorable victims!
If You Want Blood... You've Got It!: The Hanging Chads Omnibus, Vol. 2 is a delightfully morbid rollercoaster ride that will encompass your very soul! You will shriek! You will scream! You will gasp! You will explode with...we'll say...um...laughter! You will vomit! So be careful how much you eat before reading this! So please join me once again as I take you on the final journey of Maddy Sommers as she and her loved ones battle for the soul of humanity both on Earth and in the heavens using extremely violent means. This is the finale of the "Hanging Chads" series, and it is a heartfelt and grotesque conclusion that you simply cannot live without. As far as you know.
EMOJIS
Book Description:
BEWITCHED for the Technology Age!
Some say that technology is a blessing. Others say it is a curse. For the three generations of the ladies Cabot, they will find that technology is a blessing that they can use to curse others. Others who are mean spirited. Others that use the wonders of social media to bully people. Others who make the dire mistake of crossing the ladies Cabot. So be careful how you use your emojis. You may just find that they can come back and bite you. And it will hurt.
MADDY SOMMERS PRESENTS: FIVE FEARSOME FABLES ISSUE 1
Book Description:
CHAPTER 13- Sometimes you truly can judge a book by its cover. And sometimes you should stop reading after Chapter 12.
WE DON’T CARE FER YER KIND ‘ROUND ‘ERE- Getting off the main road and going into a rural village can lead to bloody mayhem. Just not the type you might expect.
HOW MANY, FATHER?- A meeting between a small boy, a Priest, and a Nun leads to an answered prayer. For all but one of them.
DRIVER’S ED- Buckle your seat belt. Adjust your mirrors. Get a firm grip on the steering wheel. Now, floor it! Oh. That made a mess.
ONE FOR THE ROAD- Murderous pillagers discover the haul of a lifetime in an old, Victorian mansion. But the real treasure is what is discovered in the basement.
Available at Personal Appearances
Available at Personal Appearances
MADDY SOMMERS PRESENTS: FIVE FEARSOME FABLES ISSUE 2
Book Description:
COME SEE THE BABY- It is not always wise to introduce your neighbors to your infant during a dinner party.
THE ALARM CLOCK- Be careful when hitting the ‘Snooze’ button. You may just end up being late for a very important engagement.
THE FOG OF WAR- Failure to honor the sacrifice of our nation’s patriotic heroes results in a chance for redemption. The ungrateful would be wise to take full advantage of the opportunity.
LICORICE- Self-centeredness and gluttony can lead to much more than a weight problem. Much more.
SHIT HAPPENS- You know that goody-goody neighbor that you make fun of for always having a perfectly manicured lawn? Well, you might think about being nicer to him.
MADDY SOMMERS PRESENTS: FIVE FEARSOME FABLES ISSUE 3
Book Description:
THE BABYSITTERS CLUB- Attention all babysitters! Find another job! Seriously. Murdering babysitters isn’t just for the criminally insane anymore.
LITTLE JIMMY GREEN- Hate and ignorance fueled oppression meets its match in the form of the pissed off spirit of a young boy.
PLAIN BROWN BAG- Kinky sex can lead to memorable encounters. Violently kinky sex can lead to having no more encounters at all.
THE MAN CAVE- Hell hath no fury like a woman who is…ignored for weeks on end by her dismissive husband.
WHEEL OF TORTURE- America’s favorite game show is back! Unfortunately, not all the contestants are.
Available at Personal Appearances
Available at Personal Appearances
Sin.D.
Book Description:
THERE IS TRUE EVIL IN THE UNIVERSE
Beings that are completely immoral and act as neurotransmitters of hateful rhetoric that infects the unsuspecting populace. Beings that are consumed by their own grandiose enrichment. Beings who bathe in the sins of pride, greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, lust, and wrath. Beings who believe that they are omnipotent. And they are.
Until they meet Sin.D. The Synthetic Immorality Neurotransmitter Destroyer was created by The Keepers to become an intergalactic assassin of the soulless with an insatiable thirst for sin. The more she sins, and the more depraved, bloody, and repugnant the sin, the stronger she becomes. Until she becomes unstoppable. A certain brutal overlord of a planet in the twin-starred Sirius system would be wise to take note of her. Because Sin.D. is coming for him. And she can’t wait to unleash her sins upon him. In all of their horrific glory.
SATAN’S SHOPKEEPER
Book Description:
Alexander Picklesbee is your average, fifty-year-old British shopkeeper living in New York City. Average, at least, for a former resident of Hell. He provides local shops on Earth with his temporary services in exchange for the opportunity to banish his corrupted customers to someplace a bit…warmer. Alexander peers into the souls of the wicked and sells them the perfect item that they have rightfully earned through their dastardly mortal deeds. All while keeping yet another little nefarious secret. But the patrons should be wary of their new treasures as they may not be what they appear. Just like their local shopkeeper. And be sure to read the fine print on your receipt because Alexander does not accept returns of your purchase… or your soul.
QUEEN ZENOBIA & THE BRIGADE OF PERSISTENCE EMOJIS BOOK 2
Book Description:
PERSISTENCE PAYS OFF!
For centuries, most societies throughout the world have been dominated by male patriarchies. Patriarchies who have suppressed women and warred against one another out of their insatiable lust for power. Despite suffering under the yoke of male dominance, women have persisted. They have persisted in their pursuit of equal rights. For equal pay. For equal recognition. And for equal respect. They have persisted for themselves, and they have persisted alongside all other downtrodden people.
But the darkness of testosterone fueled dominance is now attempting to make its brutal comeback. Upon seeing this rise of the ultimate misogynistic movement, the fabled warrior Queen Zenobia makes her return to the Earth from the spiritual realm to dispatch her Brigade of Persistence against this force of evil. To claim victory for humanity, she must unite female witches, female mediums, and enlightened men.
Will Queen Zenobia succeed in supplanting maniacal men from their thrones of power? The ladies Cabot may hold the key to their ultimate triumph. Armed with swarms of conjured emojis, a certain female vigilante serial killer, and a few zombies, Morgan, Lori, and Sophia Cabot march in lockstep with their Queen. And they shall persist in their march until they achieve ultimate victory.